Menulis

Between Desire and Necessity

I enjoy writing. Writing is a way for me to express my anxiety, happiness, anxiety, fear and various other feelings. In fact, writing has also become a medium for me to describe ideas that have no end and no origin. For me, writing is a way of expressing self-reflection on everything that happens to me and around me. 

Because writing is a means of communication, it must be clear, and can be understood by people who read it. Realizing a weakness in technical writing, I tried to improve it. I also joined a writing study group through social media. The activities are fun, share ideas, have lots of participants, and are free.

In a week, there are three speakers who will share their experiences. Starting from how to write based on passion to the experience of publishing books from his writings. Each experience shared by different resource persons, all participants must write a summary. After writing 20 summaries, we will get a certificate and publish one book.

At first, writing summaries was fun for me. Summary writing is a different style of writing than I usually do. However, for some reason, over time, writing a summary of each meeting became a thing that bound my enjoyment. Writing a resume is a must. Mainly because, sometimes the speaker no longer talks about the correct technical writing or technical things that I need. 

Saya menulis karena saya senang menulis. Saya tidak peduli apakah tulisan saya dibaca oleh banyak orang dan menjadi terkenal. Saya juga tidak terlalu menomorsatukan respon orang lain. Menulis merupakah hubungan intim antara saya dengan diri saya sendiri. Hal ini yang saya lihat berbeda dengan pembicara-pembicara yang sudah saya ikuti. Banyak yang menjadikan menulis menjadi ajang prestasi. Ada yang menjadikan menulis suatu kegiatan yang berujung pada penerbitan buku. Saya tidak. Saya menulis karena saya ingin bercengkrama dengan diri saya yang terdalam. Seandainya saya ingin menerbitkan sebuah buku, tentu karena saya menuangkan cinta di dalamnya dan menjadikannya hadiah untuk orang-orang yang saya kasihi.

It's only been 4 meetings, and only 2 resumes that I have made, the attachment to writing has started to interfere. I can not reflect more deeply on the sharing of resource persons. I haven't had time to marry the resource person's idea with my life principles, I've had to switch to another resume. 

Blog visits from fellow participants, for me become trite, because the content is always the same, the delivery is always the same, even the comments left tend to be the same. Then why should? Where else can the pleasure of writing be left for me?

I remember how excited and excited I was to write on a blog that no longer exists. Multiply. I am free to pour anything. Comments left by readers feel 'original' not because they have to tend to be trite. Multiply is what gave birth to my passion for writing.

I don't know what caused this change in taste. Is it because the task is given too quickly, or the difference in objectives between training activities and needs.

I know, all this turned back to me. I have to decide for myself. Stay or leave, or stay and adapt.

I need time to decide so I can find my passion again.

A feeling that suddenly appeared on the sidelines of working on a task.     

21 Juli 2021